Prohibited love
by Athalia Kuria
Summary: There love was aloud, but then forced to be put through the hardest trial... sadly it didnt last. Maybe the pinklet will find her one true love. DeiSakIta
1. Can I move in?

(Need to do more in the beginning about how they met and their 'PROHIDITED LOVE')

Deidara walked me home after we spent all day with the people that he lived with. He waited for me to walk inside the house like he always did. I walked in the front door and as I opened it a large cloud of black smoke consumed me. I walked into the house and it was all burnt. I went into the lounge room to find my family, dead, burnt. I ran out of the house and past Deidara, continuously running until someone wrapped their arms around me. I forced my body around and looked at who it was. It was Deidara, standing there, looking at me and I hugged him tightly. I cried into his cheats.

"Come home with me, yeah, you can't stay here." He told me.

"I don't want to stay here; I don't want to be in this village." I sobbed some more.

Once we got to the base I looked around to see everyone in the living room. Tobi was trying to get Itachi to play cards with him by tugging on the sleeve of his coat. Itachi had no expression on his face, like normal, and he was ignoring Tobi by just looking into thin air, not paying attention the anything. Kisame was angry because he wanted to kill something and Hidan wouldn't fight with him. I guess he hated the he couldn't die at that point. Sasori was hiding in his puppet, while Zetsu was annoying Kakuzu who was trying to count his money. Leader-sun and Konan were sitting on the couch talking with each other.

"Listen up, yeah," Deidara spoke up, getting everyone's attention.

"What is this about Deidara?" Leader-sun spoke, taking his eyes off of Konan.

Deidara was about to continue speaking when Leader-sun told both Deidara and I to come into his office to talk to him. We walked after him as he walked into his office.

"What has happened Deidara?" he asked. "Sakura, are you okay? You look as if you have been crying." His voice was full of concern.

"Today has been a big day," I left it as that. It looked like Leader-sun wanted to ask more but he bit his tongue.

Deidara spoke up, "I will just say that Sakura has nowhere to live any more, yeah."

Leader-sun now understood what Deidara wanted to tell everyone. "Do you have any belongings with you at the moment?" He asked looking at me.

I shook my head. "I only have what I am wearing and one set of clothes in my backpack."

"Okay," he said. "Go into Deidara's room and put your stuff there. Deidara, take her there and come back right away, I need to talk to all of you without Sakura there." He looked at me, "Sorry Sakura but you will have to stay there for a bit."

Deidara and I both nodded and left. I followed Deidara down the hall and took a few turns past many doors before he stopped outside one of them. He opened the door and then turned to walk off. I looked around, so this was Deidara's room, and right now I felt so scarred. The first thing I noticed was there was only one bed. I couldn't be staying in here, Leader-sun would find me a room and I had full confidence in him that he would. I put my backpack down by Deidara's table and sat on the bed. I sat there for a while, just thinking about everything that had happened that day.

Soon the big fish man came and collected me from Deidara's room. He told me to leave my stuff were it was. I followed him back to the living room. Everyone was sitting around waiting for Kisame and me. As I walked in, all eyes were on me, and then Leader-san stood up. He ushered me closer to him so I took a step forward.

"Is there no were else you could stay, no other village." He asked me bluntly.

I lowered my face, "So you don't want me here?"

I could feel Deidara's eyes on my back. Then Leader-sun spoke again, "No, it's not that, it's just that I think that being here is not safe for you."

"But if I move, will I ever be able to see any of you again. I can't live without you." I turned around and walked over to Deidara, "I can't live without you."

"You can stay here tonight Sakura, but we will talk more about this tomorrow." Leader-sun left it at that and walked off.

Once he was out of the room I spoke up, "Do any of you want me here, or do you all want me to go."

Tobi spoke up first, "If Sakura leaves Tobi will be sad."

Itachi "Hn," he agreed.

Kisame, "I side with Itachi."

Hidan smiled, "If the bitch doesn't want to try and kill me I'm okay with it."

Sasori, "Hidan! Well I personally don't care if you stay or go; it's all the same to me."

Zetsu, "I just want to eat you." "It's up to you."

Kakuzu, "Well if she goes we will have more money."

I looked away from Kakuzu to look at Deidara, "What about you? Do you want me to leave?"

He stood up and came closer to me, "Leave, yeah." he said the walked down the hall towards the bedrooms.

I sat down on the single couch, hurt. Four want me to stay, one doesn't care, two gave weird answers, and the only one I really cared about answering me wants me to go. Most of the people in the living room walked off to leave me to myself.

"Is Sakura okay?" Tobi asked me.

Itachi ushered him down the hall. Once Tobi was gone he came over to sit in the single chair beside me. "Everything will be okay," he told me, "Diedara is just upset. He doesn't want you to go. He cares for you to much."

That pushed me over the edge. I broke out into violent sobs. I was shaking and I started to hyperventilate. Itachi put his hand on my back and tried to soothe me. I started to calm down but I was still shaking.

It took me a while to be calm enough to speak. When I got to that point I said, "Where am I sleeping tonight? Leader-sun never told me that."

"Were ever you want, you can sleep in Deidara's room."

"But there is only one bed in there; are there two beds in your room?"

"No, we all only have one bed, but you can stay in my room if you want."

I stood up and followed Itachi down the hall. After a while I spoke up again. "Deidara probably won't even let me sleep there tonight, he seemed really mad at me."

"Ask him," Itachi told me, "If he doesn't want you in there, I'm just in the next room." He said as we stopped outside of Deidara room.

I nodded at him in thanks before knocking on the door to Deidara's room. Itachi walked off and I stood by myself in the empty hall way. I knocked again and when there was no answer I opened the door myself. Deidara was lying on his bed and rolled over to look at me.

"Why are you here?" he asked me.

"Well, I have nowhere to sleep and I was hoping that I could sleep here if that's okay with you."

"That's not what I meant, why are you here with me?"

I was shocked by the question but I soon found the answer to his question. "Because I love you, and I couldn't imagine my life without you in it."

"Why do you love me?"

"I," I paused. "I don't know, you're just everything I need in my life."

"Come here, you can sleep here."

I kicked off my shoes, turned off the light and climbed into bed next to Deidara. "I'm sorry, yeah." I didn't answer; I just rolled over and snuggled into his chest. "Please don't go."

I looked up at him then, I could see the dark silhouette of the blond looking at me. "That's all I needed to hear."

I pulled him down and he brushed his lips against mine. "Goodnight my angel." He said as I fell asleep.


	2. We can't stay here

I woke up lying on Deidara's chest. I looked up at him and saw his blue eyes looking down at me. "Good morning," he said and smiled sweetly at me.

I flashed him a smile before getting up out of bed. I looked around and something felt different, but I couldn't guess what it was. Deidara's arms wrapped around my waist and he pulled me closer to him. I turned around in his arms and stood on my tiptoes to kiss him softly.

Then it hit me, "Itachi, take me out of your jutsu, please." I opened my eyes to see Itachi sitting at the end of Deidara's bed. "What are you doing in here?" I asked him.

"Deidara is in the living room with everyone else, Leader-sun is talking to them about you. I decided that it would be best if someone watched you."

"So pretending that you were Deidara, what was that for?"

"To see if you were mad at him, don't worry I did the same thing to him."

"You kissed Deidara?" I asked in shock.

"Okay, not the exact same."

I smiled knowing that it was that easy to get him. "So what now," I said getting to the point, "Do I just have to pack up and leave here?" I was now fighting off the tears that were trying to pour out of my eyes.

"I don't know. Leader-sun is taking everything into account, like the fact that you and Deidara are intermate with each other. He is not just thinking what is best for you, but also for Deidara and the rest of us. If you are forced to leave, Leader-sun is afraid that Deidara will leave to go after you."

"Well I hope that he would." I said and I smiled falsely.

"Will you be okay here? I will just go and see if you are able to come out."

"I will be okay here, but I don't want to go out. Just get the answer for me and tell me please. I don't want to cry in front of everyone, it shows my weakness."

He understood me and nodded once before leaving the room. I lay there on Deidara's bed, looking up at the ceiling thinking about the different things that could happen in the future. There was really only two outcomes, but there was also so many. They could let me stay and I would just help around the house, or if they let me stay I could join the Akatsuki and help them that way. We could stay here or move to a different base. Team seven would surely come after me; well Kakashi would come after me. But then if they make me leave lots of different thing could happen. I could end up anywhere and Deidara would come after me and I don't want him to leave here because of me. He belongs here, with all of these people, they are his family.

"Please don't leave your family because of me," I said to myself, just about a whisper.

"You are my family, yeah, and you're not leaving here without me." I sat up quickly and looked at the door to see Deidara standing there looking at me.

"If they want me to leave, I don't want you to leave here just to be with me."

"There are not making you leave." He came and sat down on the bed with me. He climbed over top of me until I was completely under him, then he kissed me. "Now your mine, always, yeah." And he kissed me again. His hands travelled all over my body and just as he was about to kiss my neck, Kisame decided that he would just burst into Deidara's room.

"So Dei- oh, this is strange." Deidara kissed me again, hoping Kisame would just go away. But no, he sat down on a chair and got comfortable. "This looks interesting, I'm going to stay."

Deidara got off of me and walked over to Kisame. "Get out." He waited but Kisame didn't move. "Now!" he yelled at him.

"Ok, ok, just chill Deidara. I'll let you two get back to what you were doing." He winked at Deidara then looked at me before he left the room.

I wanted to taste his lips again, but I was smart enough to know that the moment had passed. I didn't expect anything else to happen. Deidara sat on the end of the bed and patted the space next to him, indicating that he wanted me to sit up next to him. I did as I was asked.

"We need to talk," he began and I was worried. "Leader-sun wants to know if you want to stay here in this base or if you and I would like to move into a spare base by ourselves. What do you want to do?" I sat there looking at the floor in disbelief. Leader-sun was actual letting us have our own place. "You have to think about everything. If we stay here people like Kisame could walk in whenever they want. But if we lived on our own we would have to fend for ourselves. But I am leavening this choice up to you. I do not want to influence you in anyway." He left it at that and waited for my answer.

"Well," I began, "I would rather stay here. I can live with people walking in whenever they want, and I want to be as safe as we can. I also think that I could help out around here seeing as though I am a medic-nin." I took a breath before moving my eyes from the floor to look him in the eye. "But I want to know what you want to do as well."

"I wanted the same, yeah. All I want is to be with you." He stood up and locked the door before coming back and crawled back on top of me. "Yeah?"

I nodded once then he kissed from my jaw bone to my lips then down my neck stopping at the v of my shirt. His hands slid up my shirt and cupped my breasts. I lifted my head to kiss him and he pushed me back down with one of his. I let my arms go up as he slid my shirt off of my body. He tossed my shirt to the side and it landed in a heap on the far side of the room.

There was a knock at the door, "Can it wait, yeah?" Deidara called out towards the door before letting me take off his shirt. I tossed it so it landed just beside the bed.

"No," Called Itachi's voice. "Leader-sun wants us."

Deidara kissed me once more quickly before getting up to put his cloak on. He walked past me and placed the blanket up around my neck as I lay in his bed, then he turned to open the door. He walked out closing the door behind him.

I could just hear them outside the room, and I couldn't help but listen in.

"What does Leader-sun want?" I noticed that he didn't say his usual 'yeah', he must have been annoyed. That made me smile.

"He just wants to know what is happening with you and Sakura."

"You interrupted me for something as simple as that?"

"He wanted to know right away."

"Well she has chosen to stay with everyone here, yeah. She wants the protection from us and she believes she can help us as she is a medic-nin, yeah."

"Well I will tell Leader-sun, and you can tell everyone else. We need to pack up and move out before the night is over."

"Yeah,"

I heard the footsteps of both Itachi and Deidara walk off in the same direction, down the hall. I quickly got up and put my shirt back on. I went to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my hair. When I walked back out o the bathroom I saw Itachi standing in the door way.

"You should learn to knock," I told him. "What needs to be done?"

"Pack as much as you can from this room into scrolls. Do you have some of them?" He asked and I nodded as he left me be again.

I opened up some scrolls from my bag and put the sheets and towels into a scroll. I opened another and put both mine and Deidara's clothes into it. I didn't want to go through his belongings so I left the rest.

Deidara soon returned to see me sitting on the bed with my backpack between my feet. I handed him a scroll and gestured towards the draws. He opened them to see that they were still full of his stuff. He quickly packed them into the scroll and gave it back to me. I placed it in my bag with the rest of the stuff I had. We quietly left the base to meet everyone already outside.

"Deidara." Leader-sun said, not saying any more.

Deidara nodded and placed his hands into his pockets, and when he pulled them out the mouths on his hands let out a clay bird each. They flew into the house -kaboom- the base blew up. I turned my head and latched onto Deidara's arm. The mouth on his palm licked my hand, but they had done they so many times before that I was just used to it now, it was actually soothing knowing that Deidara could do something to me that no one else could.

We all took off fast, into the forest; Leader-sun said that if ninja from the leaf village wasn't out here, they would be soon. The Akatsuki had gotten to comfortable living side by side with the leaf village. I was cold, scared and I wanted someone to hold me.

"Is Sakura okay?" Tobi asked me.

I nodded at him and he took off in front of me. Deidara was up ahead talking to Leader-sun, most people were up ahead. Itachi was the only person with me now.

"I can see that you're not okay. Would you rather go back?"

"No," I snapped. "I don't want to ever go back there, they killed my family." My voice was a lot calmer now. "The only people I have left is all of you."

He nodded to tell me he knew what I meant. "Would you rather rest, I could carry you, or Deidara could, and we could travel a lot faster."

I nodded twice at him and he picked me up in his arms while continuing to run. I rested my face against his chest and dozed off to sleep. I must have been tired to fall asleep in Itachi's arms while we were moving.


	3. Don't leave me

I woke up, motionless, warm; was I in a bed? How long was I asleep? How did I get here? Where am I? I had so many questions running around in my head and I was confused, so I sat up to look around at where I was. We hadn't reached the base yet, but I was lying in a bed of what looked like a motel. I was in a single bed, I hated being alone when I slept. I looked to my left to see Deidara in another single bed. I relaxed and laid back down. I was almost back asleep when I heard a purr; I didn't know what it was so I shot up in my bed. I glanced around to find Itachi sleeping on the fold out bed.

I got up out of bed, knowing that with Itachi's snoring I wasn't going to get back to sleep, no matter how quiet it was. I went to the bathroom to refresh myself and when I came out Itachi had left the room. I climbed into Deidara's bed and put my head on his chest.

I kissed his open palm before saying, "I love you Deidara, and I don't think I could live without you." I closed my eyes and drifted back off to sleep.

_**I kissed him, and it was amazing, I never thought that I felt this way about him, but I guess I did. I opened my eyes to look into his. His red eyes looked past my face and right into my soul and my world felt complete.**_

I shot up, I was defiantly awake now. I panted and looked around. I looked down beside me to find Deidara awake looking at me with worry. "Just a bad dream," I told him.

Why was I dreaming about him, I haven't seen him in years, why was he on my mind all of a sudden? I got up, for good this time. I went into the bathroom, locking the door behind me, to take a shower. I turned the shower on with only hot water and sat in the bottom of the bathtub. My skin went red and the water burned my back, but I soon got used to it. I cried because I didn't know what these images were supposed to mean. Did I feel something for him again?

I sat there for a long time and came to the conclusion that I must still love him somewhere deep down inside of me. I got out of the shower got dressed for the day. Once I was fully ready, with my hair done, I walked out of the bathroom to find Itachi back in the room, reading on his bed; and Deidara was lying on his bed, almost asleep again.

Itachi got up when he saw me, and walked over to the door then he opened it and gestured me to follow him. I walked out of the room, silently closing the door behind me. We walked down the hall, down the stairs and into the kitchen for breakfast. He didn't talk and I was too afraid to break the silence. Breakfast went past and still nothing was said, then I felt two hands on my shoulders. When they connected with my body it made me jump. I saw the small smile on Itachi's face and then there were lips on my cheek.

"Good morning, darling." Deidara said in my ear, and the smirk from Itachi had gone now. "How was your sleep, yeah?"

Itachi got up and left us be, I thanked him with a half smile. As Itachi left, Deidara sat down in front of me. He didn't wait for my reply.

"I was awake this morning." I gave him a confused look and he spoke again. "When you came and joined me in my bed, yeah, I was awake."

I now knew what he meant and I blushed. I could feel the heat radiating off my face.

"There is no need to be embarrassed, yeah." He took my hand under the table. "I found it sweet." The tongue on his hand licked my palm and I couldn't help but smile.

"Eat," I said to him, gesturing to Itachi's uneaten food.

He looked at it and picked up a fork just to please me. He smiled at me and once the plate was empty he stood up. "We should get going, yeah; have you had enough to eat?"

I nodded and we both walked back up to the room where we found Itachi packing up.

"Where is everyone else?" I pointed my question at Itachi, but Deidara answered.

"They have gone ahead, yeah, to make sure everything is clear."

Itachi shot me a glance and I felt as though that wasn't the whole truth but I didn't push it further. We quickly left and headed towards the base we were going to stay at.

Later that night we reached the new base. It was late but I wasn't tired. I let my fingers intertwine with Deidara's hand and I could feel his tongue licking my palm. As we walked through the doors our hands dropped. I was getting used to the chakra signals with these people and from the feel of it everyone was asleep and there was the absence of one, Kisame. I sent out my chakra and I could tell that there were only two empty rooms. I took off down the hall and I could feel Itachi running after me. We both wanted the room down the end of the hall and it was the first one there that got it. As we were running I felt Itachi's arms wrap around my waist.

He kissed my ear and whispered to me, "Can I please have the room I want?"

My body froze; I don't know what was wrong with me. I had kissed him before, unintentionally, and I was fine, but this pushed me over the edge. My body collapsed and Deidara got there, just in time to catch me. He stood up and took my hand, leading me to the only bedroom that was left. I looked into his eyes as he spoke to me, "Can I have you, yeah?" his question was like sweet honey to my ears.

"Yes," I could only manage a whisper, but by the look in his eyes I knew that he fully understood me.

Once we were in our room he locked the door, and because most people would be out cold because of the long journey we had a fairly good chance of not being interrupted.

I was still pure and I knew I loved Deidara and I wanted this. He kissed me and slowly made me walk backwards until I fell on to the bed. I lay there and he crawled on top of me. He kissed me again and I pulled his body closer to mine. His hands traced my body until they came to the hem of my shirt. With one quick tug Deidara pulled it off. I smiled up at him and rolled him over. Now that I was in charge I pulled open his cloak to reveal his naked chest. He came up and kissed me then pulled the blanket over us before he unclipped my bra. My breasts fell to hang and Deidara eyes were stuck on them.

-Bang- Deidara jumped out of the bed to find the fish on the floor outside Deidra's closet.

"You are the world's biggest pervert!" Deidara yelled at Kisame. "Get your blue ass out of my room, now!"

Kisame got up as I hid under the blanket, only letting my face be seen.

"Why, you afraid your little girl wouldn't like me watching?" Kisame winked at me and I shifted my eyes to Deidara.

"Kisame get out!" he yelled at him again.

Then Itachi came in and I hid my face fully. "Come on Kisame, you have already killed the mood."

Kisame left with Itachi and once I heard the door close I stood up and got dressed before leaving the room. Deidara didn't follow and I assumed that he needed some time to cool down.

-Knock knock- I knocked on Itachi's door. He opened the door and his red eyes looked down at me. They soon went black and he stepped aside to let me in his room. I was still dark out and there was about four hours of sleep that I could possibly get. My eyes were heavy and Itachi could see this.

"If you don't mind sharing, you can stay in here tonight."

I crawled into bed, lying on the side next to the wall. My eyes drifted closed and when I was almost asleep I felt Itachi move. I hated sleeping alone, even when I was back in the leaf village. My automatic reaction was to stop him from leaving so I forced my body to wrap my arms around him in me dazed state. He then lay back down and he didn't leave me while I slept at all that night. It was peaceful in a strange way, Itachi calmed me in a way no one else ever had.

_**His red eyes looked past me and into my soul. He face was so calming and I could trust him with anything. "Itachi," I whispered. "Don't leave me."**_


	4. He might like you

_**His red eyes looked past me and into my soul. He face was so calming and I could trust him with anything. "Itachi," I whispered. "Don't leave me."**_

I shot up, Itachi was still beside me. He looked up at me with a questioning look. "This may sound weird but can you activate your Sharingan?"

He gave me another weird look but did as I asked. I looked into his eyes and it felt like it did in my dream, he looked into my soul.

"What's wrong?" he asked and I only realised I was crying when he used his thumb to wipe away some of my tears.

I couldn't help myself; I latched onto him and continued to cry. "Itachi," I whispered, "Don't leave me."

He stroked my hair, holding me close to his body. "It's okay, I won't leave. I will always be here for you." he kissed the top of my head and moved me so that I was sitting in between his legs.

What was I doing? Last night I was so close to getting into bed with Deidara and now I am asking Itachi to never leave me all because of a dream. I got up and moved from Itachi.

"Sorry," I said and wiped all my tears away.

"It's okay, what's wrong? Why were you crying?"

"You really want to know?" he nodded and patted the bed beside him. I sat next to him, "I had a dream when we were at the hotel about a guy with red eyes looking into my soul, and I thought my body was telling me that I still liked Sasuke. But last night I had another dream, I hugged the guy with red eyes and said 'Itachi, don't leave me.' So I guess my body is telling me..." I paused, "Something different."

"That your feelings aren't for my brother, but for me?" he questioned. I nodded. "What about Deidara?"

"Well that's why I was crying. I don't know what to do with these newly found feeling."

A long moment passed and no one spoke. "Kiss me." He said sharply.

I looked at him shocked, "What?"

"Kiss me." he said, a lot more sweetly.

"Why?"

"Don't ask questions, either you kiss me or I will have to kiss you."

"But-"

He put his finger to my lips, "I gave you a chance." His lips came down, crashing on mine.

I wanted to push him away so badly but I found myself kissing him back. He broke the kiss and looked at me.

"Okay, now that that is over, you should probably go see Deidara." he got up and walked over to the door.

"What? Then what was talk about."

"Just pretend like nothing happened."

Like nothing happened? How could I do that? I left and went into Deidara's room to find him still sleeping, my heart melted and I walked over to him and kissed his cheek.

He shot up "Huh? Wha-?"

I smiled at him and he grabbed my waist and pulled me down, "Never abandon me at night again." He said half serious. He kissed me and then rolled back onto his side to go back to sleep.

I had a shower and got dress and then walked out to the kitchen to find Konan and Pain sitting at the table talking. As I walked in they both looked at me and then stopped talking.

"Sorry," I said and turned to leave them be.

"Sakura," Pain called and I turned back around. "Please, join us."

I sat down beside him and he was just about to talk to me as Itachi came in. I looked at him as he passed me and walked into the kitchen. I could feel myself blushing as my face got hotter and when I looked at Pain; I could tell that he could see the pinkness. Pain stood, telling Konan to stay, and telling me to follow him into his office. I knew now that he would talk to me about Itachi.

I walked in and he told me to sit down. "Why are you here?"

This felt like déjà vu. "My family is dead and I can't stand being in Konoha." I replied waiting for his next question.

"No, why are you _here_?"

Yep, it was defiantly déjà vu. "Well, mainly because I have nowhere else to go, and Deidara is here."

"Do you have feeling for Itachi?"

How did I know he would ask that? "I don't know," I said honestly.

He gave me a look to tell me that he knew something was going on. I looked away from him, to try and focus on anything but him. "Sakura," he began. "You may not know that you like him, but it is very clear to both Konan and me that you feel at least something for him."

"Well," I was having a debate in side my head.

'_Don't tell him.'_ My inner said. **'Why not, he might help me to figure this stuff out.' **_'Yeah, he could also tell Deidara and then you would have broken his heart all over a crush.' _**'I don't even know if I like him.' **_'That's why his is a crush.'_

"He is not a crush!" I yelled at myself, but from am on looker it would have been as if I was yelling at Leader-san.

"You are clearly in denial, Sakura."

_'He agrees with me.' _**'Oh just shut up.'**

"Sorry Leader-san. I was going to say that I had a dream about Itachi, I was begging him not to leave me. That's the only clue I have gotten that I _might_ have feeling for him."

He nodded once and told me I could go back out to the kitchen.

As I walked out, everyone was up. They were all looking at me with a suspicious gaze. "So who does Sakura not have a crush on?" Tobi asked the question I could now see everyone wanted to ask.

"No one." I said coldly and walked past them all towards Deidara's room. On my way down I heard Leader-san call Deidara into his office.

_'Crap, crap, crap.' _**'Told you not to tell him.' **_'No, that was me. You should learn to listen to me one day.'_

I didn't respond, signalling that I didn't want to talk about it any more. Once I got into Deidara's room I slammed the door shut. Well, as I slammed it, it kind of came off of its hinges. "ARRRRR!" I screamed in frustration. I stormed back out towards the kitchen before walking out side.

"What's up with her?" I heard Kisame say but I didn't turn to reply.

The first thing I did as I walked out side was to jump up into a tree, built up the chakra into my fist and I jumped into the air as I punched the tree, watching it smash into splinters.

_'Someone is moody.' _**'Oh shut up!'** I yelled at my self. My inner was quiet from then on.

I walked off into the forest and soon found a crystal clear stream. I laid there looking up at the clouds as the anger left my body. "You can't sneak up on me like that."

"I wasn't sneaking, and I was just coming to join you."

"Kisame, I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to everyone else out here."

"Sakura, how did you tell Tobi was out here?" Tobi said, "Is that why Deidara likes you?"

"Tobi," I snapped. "If you want to live, go back inside... and take everyone else with you."

They all left with the exception of Kisame and Itachi. He must have thought I couldn't tell that he was still here. I rolled my eyes and I guess Kisame saw.

"Itachi, she knows your still here."

_'Yeah piss off.' _**'You shouldn't be so mean.' **_'He is the one who wouldn't leave when asked.'_When he left I just turned to face Kisame.

"You're a perve, you know that right."

He gave me a toothy grin before speaking, "Yeah, but it's not everyday that your team mate gets lucky."

"But he hasn't yet, because a certain blue man keeps interrupting."

"Well that's not why your pissed. So out with it."

Could I trust this guy? Well there was only one way to find out. "No, it's not. I'm pissed with myself, because I may have feelings for Itachi."

He didn't seem shocked at all. "Everyone falls for him."

"Does everyone get told to kiss him."

That changed his look. "He what?" he asked in disbelief.

"He told me to kiss him, and when I didn't he kissed me."

"Did you enjoy it?" he asked with a serious look on his face.

"Yeah, kind of, I guess." I didn't know what to say.

"And he basically forced you to kiss him." I nodded. "Leave it for a bit... if he tries it again, without you leading him on, he likes you."

"Okay," All of my anger was gone and now I was worried if I could trust Kisame. I never had felt enough trust to tell any of these people anything to important, but I guess that these people were the only people I could trust now.

I got up and thanked Kisame before walking back into the base. I walked down to Deidara's room and saw that the door was fixed. Someone needed to be thanked. I walked into the room to see Deidara lying there. He looked up at me and I smiled to him. He saw through my mask, as I had expected, and got up.

"Are you okay, yeah?"

"Yeah, I'm okay, just needed to take out some anger."

He nodded and didn't push it further. I sat down on the bed and waited for him to join me, and he quickly did.

He wrapped his arms around me and lied down, forcing me to lie down with him. I had thought all my emotions were gone, but clearly they weren't when I started to cry into Deidara's chest. Little did he know that he was the reason that I was crying; well because of him and Itachi's stunt.

I fell to sleep crying, thinking about what Kisame had said, and what this all.


	5. I'm agreeing with myself?

I woke up from Deidara lightly shaking me. "Dinner is ready." How long had I slept? Well I did feel better now. I had to act as if nothing was different and that I was just having mood swing about leaving Konoha, well here goes.

I walked out of Deidara's room, following him into the kitchen where dinner was ready. It was ramen, and it smelt good. I sat down in between Deidara and Tobi, and across from Itachi. I ate my dinner in silence while everyone else -apart from Itachi- talked. I could feel Itachi's eyes on me for most of the night and it was making me uncomfortable. Once I had finished my dinner I washed up and then waited for either Kisame or Deidara to finish eating. I was sitting on the couch when I heard someone else washing up their dishes. I turned around to see Itachi, and then Kisame stood up and went to do his washing. I couldn't help but think that maybe he saw me and knew that I wanted to get out of the house for a while.

"Oi, Itachi." Kisame said as Itachi was about to walk down the hallway. He turned to face Kisame. "Want to come for a walk?" Itachi didn't answer, but simply turned and continued down the hallway. "Guess not. Pinky, want to come for a walk?" I looked at him with annoyance and thanks. I stood up and walked out of the base following him closely.

Once we walked down to the lake I had found earlier he spoke again. "You are so obvious." I gave him a shocked look. "Everyone one could tell that something was wrong with you. We have all known you long enough to know that you're never the first one to finish eating and you are always talking to people whilst eating."

I understood now. "Oh, I didn't mean to. But Itachi was making me so uncomfortable. Didn't you see him staring at me, because I could definitely feel it."

"No, no one saw it. He is good at hiding stuff. But if he was staring at you, it's not helping your case much is it pinky." I shot him a glare and he just brushed it off. "He either hates you, or likes you, and I doubt that he hates you."

"Grate," I said sarcastically. "So now the guy that I may kind of like, likes me or hates me."

"Yeah, something like that."

_'Why is he always so calm?' _**'Because it is Kisame were talking about.' **_'True, and he does know more about Itachi then anyone else.' _**'Shut up.' **_'What is wrong with you?' _**'More like what is wrong with you? You're the one randomly agreeing with me. You never agree with me.' **_'True,' _**'See. So shut up.'**

Kisame looked at me before turning back to the stream. "I'll try and help you pinky." Again, I shot him a glare. "I will ask Leader-san if Itachi and I can have the next mission. Then you can sort stuff out in your own head before making any big decisions."

It was strange for him to openly do something for someone else and I was pleased with his attempt. We sat there, at the water's edge, for about an hour before finally deciding to go back inside. Just before we reached the base Kisame told me that I need to talk to people, and to just be me. We walked inside and most people were no longer in the kitchen. I assumed that they retreated to their rooms. Deidara was still up; he was sitting on the couch, most likely waiting for me. As soon as I walked in the room, Deidara stood up and came over to me. Kisame left and let us be when Deidara wrapped his arms around me.

When Kisame left Deidara whispered into my ear, "What's wrong?"

I sat down on the couch and he sat next to me. "Just everything with my family and Konoha." I moved my body to lay my head in his lap. "I am just wondering if they're looking for me or if they have just accepted that I have left."

Well it was true, I have been thinking about that, but that wasn't why I was acting the way I was. Deidara brushed his fingers through my waist long hair and my eyes drifted close for the second time that day.

I woke up and a sharp pain shot up my back. I sat up to find that I was still on the couch, and still laying on Deidara. I looked at him and he looked uncomfortable, but he was asleep. I looked around to discover that it was at least three hours till the sun rose. I shook Deidara awake. He forced his eyes open and he looked at me. He wasn't fully awake so I helped him to get up and I lead him down the hall until we got to his room. I opened the door and he slowly walked to the bed and I followed closely behind. He lay down; grabbing me around the waist and making me go down with him. He snuggled his head into my neck before going back to sleep. I looked at his peaceful body and thoughts ran though my head. How could I even think that I didn't love him? He way that he looks when he sleeps is like, even though he is an S-class criminal, everything seems at peace. The smile that he sleeps with made me think that in his dream land it must have made him feel free. I only wish that one day I could set him free.

Being free; that thought made me smile, but my smile soon disappeared when I realised what type of world I lived in. This world was full of death, and pain, and sadness. Everything happiness doesn't include, everything that being free doesn't include.

But what about Itachi, I have feelings for him. I knew that, and there was no running from them. I may have pushed him away when he kissed me, but I enjoyed it. Even now I long for it again, and it hurts more knowing I can't have it.


	6. I choose you

I woke up the next morning to find Deidara not beside me. I felt around, but the bed was cold; he had been gone for a while. I got up out of bed and went over to where my clothes were. There was a note on top of the clothes I was assuming Deidara got out for me.

_Sakura, I'm sorry I didn't wake you up to say good bye, but Leader-san said not to disturb you. Itachi, Kisame, Tobi and I have gone on a mission. Two separate ones. I should be back within two days. I understand that you have become friends with Kisame and it will be hard for you to know we're both gone. But at least one of us should be back soon. I miss you Sakura; you soon, yeah. Deidara._

"I hope you get back first Deidara." I whispered as I kissed the note Deidara wrote.

I grabbed my clothes and walked to the bathroom to get dressed. It was now just normal for me to get dressed in the bathroom now. I stripped and as I picked up my shirt to put it on a piece of paper fell out; two pieces of paper. I picked up the first one after putting on my shirt.

_Sakura, I just wanted to remind you that you are never off of my mind. I assume you're in the bathroom. Look in the cupboard behind the mirror. _I opened it up and found a clay bird of his. Then I looked back at the note. _This one won't explode. Keep it safe, and I will return, yeah. Deidara. _

I turned to back to look at the other note. _Pinky, I will try and stay away as long as I can. Hopefully Deidara will get back before us. But Itachi will like to get back quickly, so I might be able to hold him off for about two days. I hope Deidara gets back before then. Kisame._

Itachi could be back as soon as tomorrow and Deidara would be back the day after. But Kisame would be here if he and Itachi got back first. Then again, Kisame wouldn't do anything to help me that was noticeable to Itachi.

Well I guess I had the day to do whatever, and I would sort everything out tomorrow. I finished getting dressed and then walked out of the bathroom. I opened Deidara's door and looked up and down the hall. There was no one there. I quietly walked down to Itachi's room. I slipped in, closing the door behind me. I didn't know what I was doing here, just that I needed something to do.

_'What the hell are you doing?' _my inner almost yelled at me. **'Well it's good to hear from you again. I'm good, thanks for asking. How are you?' **I thought in a sarcastic tone. **'What do you think I'm doing here, I', trying to figure everything out. Clearly you don't care about my sanity.' **_'I do, I kind of have to. But I don't want you to try and look for something that isn't here.' _

I looked around and discovered that his room was a lot messier then it normally was. I decided that I would do some cleaning. I started by making his bed, putting his spare cloak in the wash, and then I finished by tidying up his desk. It looked a lot better and I was happy. I figured out what I was going to do for the day.

I went back into Deidara's room and did the same to his room. When that was finished I thought I would do Kisame's room next. I had my hand on the door handle to his room when my stomach growled at me.

"Time for breakfast. I'll come back for you." I said looking at Kisame's door.

I walked into the kitchen and pulled out some eggs and bacon. If I was up, then everyone would be up too. I cooked enough for everyone and as soon as the smell reached their rooms they were walking out, still half asleep.

"Good morning sunshine." I said to each of them, one by one as they walked out of their bedrooms and into the kitchen. They all grumbled as they sat down and began to eat. Well I was glad to see that they were all bad morning people, and it wasn't just me.

After breakfast was done I cleaned up the kitchen and by that time, it was about early afternoon. I went back to clean up Kisame's room but then decided against it. _'Oh, why not? Because he isn't one of the guys that you're falling head over heels for?' _my inner asked. **'Well, no. It's because I have never been in his room, so I don't know how he normally has his room, therefore I don't want to mess with it too much.'**

I walked back down the hall and I was startled by Sasori walking out of his bedroom. "Hi," I smiled at him.

"Hey, are you busy Sakura?"

"Umm, no. Why, are you alright?" he never asked me for anything, so this was strange.

"Come in and we can talk." he gestured towards his room.

I stepped in and he followed me, closing the door behind him. He sat down at his desk with a half-finished puppet on it and told me to have a seat. I sat on his bed and I looked at him with a confused look as if to say, 'why am I here?'

Then he spoke, "What's happening with you and Deidara; and with you and Itachi?"

Could I trust him like I have learnt to with Kisame? It is possible that I could, but I decided against it. Sasori was still looking at me waiting for an answer.

"Nothing, why do you ask?" I asked him, hoping that he didn't hear the lie.

"I can see that you're just friends with Kisame. But you're close with Deidara and Itachi as well. You're with Deidara, but Itachi confuses me. No one just happens to become friends with the Uchiha. I have come to the conclusion that you're sleeping with him, either with or without Deidara knowing."

I looked at him with my mouth wide is shock. "I would never do that to Deidara!" I yelled at him.

"Sorry Sakura, that's just what it looks like. But onto other things, what is with you and hating to sleep alone?"

"I don't know, I have just always hated it. But I sleep by me self when I have to."

"Well if you hate it so much you can sleep in here." I was about to object when he continued. "I won't be in the bed with you, but I will be in the room, most likely working on my puppets."

"Wouldn't it be weird?" I asked him. "To be staying in your room? I mean, don't you find it weird that I hate to sleep alone?"

"Well I can't say much, as I don't sleep. So you can stay here, only if you're comfortable."

"Yeah okay, but only till Deidara gets back."

"What about Itachi? Don't you stay in his room?"

"Yeah, I guess I can stay in his room if he gets back first." I guess he didn't want me to stay in here for too long. "Thanks for the offer. I will see you later." I stood up and left his room.

After dinner that night I had a shower and walked down the hall to Sasori's room. I knocked on the door and he let me in.

"Hi," I said half shy.

He didn't speak, he just stepped to side to let me pass.

I sat on the edge of the bed and looked around the room. I was uncomfortable and I didn't know how to act around him. He looked at me before going to his desk to calve something. His bed was strangely comfortable. My eyes were closing as I willed them to stay open. I soon gave in and crawled into bed and hugged the blankets close to my body as I quickly went into the land of sleep.

_**I was running as fast as I could. I ran into a small clearing in the forest and I stood between Itachi and Deidara. "Choose." they both said to me. I looked between the two not knowing who I should run to, but the longer I stood there thinking the closer they both came to me until they were right beside me. They both put their hand out for me to take, and I took the hand to my left.**_


	7. How do I tell him?

_**I was running as fast as I could. I ran into a small clearing in the forest and I stood between Itachi and Deidara. "Choose." they both said to me. I looked between the two not knowing who I should run to, but the longer I stood there thinking the closer they both came to me until they were right beside me. They both put their hand out for me to take, and I took the hand to my left...**_

I woke up with a startle is Sasori's bed.

"What's wrong?" Sasori asked me. "You have only been asleep for four hours."

"Umm," was I meant to tell him the truth? No. "Bad dream." Well that's kind of the truth.

I lay back down and closed my eyes again.

_**I then took the hand to my right. **_

"_**Can't I have both?"**_

"_**No." They both said to me. **_

"_**Who will I be most happy with?"**_

"_**Me," Itachi said. **_

_**I got a vision. It was like a dream within a dream. I was at the base still, I mad breakfast for everyone. Deidara wouldn't look at me. I guess I chose Itachi. Everything went blurry and when it refocused I was in Leader-sun office. **_

"_**I know that you have been with us for three years now, and it pains me to say this to you, but Sasuke finally got his revenge. Itachi has died."**_

_**Everything went blurry again. I was now in a hospital. "Where is his father?" I heard someone say. **_

"_**He died just after I found out I was pregnant." I said as I was handed a baby boy.**_

"_**Me," Deidara said, I was now standing back in the forest hand in hand with both of the boys. **_

_**My vision was almost the same in the beginning. I was making breakfast. Deidara came up behind me and kissed my cheek. I was truly happy. Then everything blurred. **_

"_**Sakura, are you okay?" I opened my eyes to see Kisame. "It's okay. You're okay."**_

"_**Deidara?"**_

"_**Sakura, he blew himself up. He wanted to save you."**_

_**Then everything faded.**_

"_**Sakura, please stop crying. It will be okay."**_

"_**No it won't. My baby was my last connection to him. Now my baby is gone."**_

"Sakura. Wake up." Sasori's voice was calling me out of my sleep. "Sakura, you have to wake up."

I slowly opened my eyes. "What's wrong?" I asked Sasori.

"You have been asleep for two days almost. You didn't get out of bed at all yesterday."

I jumped up out of bed. "Someone is getting back today." I said to myself.

"Yeah, do you know what you're going to do?" I looked at him with a confused look.

"You said a lot in your sleep. So did your dreams help? Deidara or Itachi?"

"I don't know. I will let fait decide. The first one to walk through the door is the one I will choose."

I walked out of his room and sat on the couch. I watched television for about an hour before I got hungry. I went and made myself something to eat. As I was cooking I heard voices, but I didn't think much of it. When I walked back out into the lounge room I saw Kisame, Itachi, Deidara and Tobi standing around talking. I dropped my plate to the ground and it smashed, and my pasta went everywhere.

"Are you okay?" Deidara asked me.

I didn't respond. I slowly made my way to the couch and sat there, staring into space. I didn't acknowledge anyone.

Later that afternoon, about three hours after the four boys got home, Sasori come into the lounge room.

"So did fate help you decide?"

I shook my head slowly to say no. "They," I said no louder than a whisper. "I missed them walking in. I don't know who got home first."

He stood up and walked off. A few minutes later Kisame came and sat next to me. "We all got home at the same time. I tried to hold Itachi off as long as possible, but you know how he is."

I stood up slowly to face him fully. "Who walked through the door first?"

"Itachi," he paused with a confused look on his face. "Why?"

I smiled slightly, "Thank you," I said before I walked off down the hall.

"What was that about?" I heard Kisame ask someone.

I wasn't sure if he was talking to me, but I didn't care. I now knew that life had made my decision. I had to confront Itachi to see what he thinks of me, what he truly feels, and if he likes me I will choose him.

I sat in Deidara's room for the rest of the day by myself. I didn't care about food or anything else. Deidara tried to come in a few times but I asked him to leave. I just wanted to wait for tonight to come. At about eight that night I was told by Kisame that dinner was ready. I walked out to the kitchen to see that there was no food on the table.

"Where is dinner?" I asked, looking at Kisame.

He didn't look back at me, instead Leader-sun spoke. "Sakura, I understand that leaving the village was hard for you, but we have all become worried about you." Why was everyone out here just looking at me? "I know that you understand that you can't sulk around here for the next however long. Itachi needs you to heal him. He was injured in his mission. After you have had a look at him and patched him up, dinner will be ready."

I nodded to Leader-sun and turned to walk down the hall with Itachi behind me. When I walked into the room with all of the things I could possibly need to fix Itachi, I told him to sit down on the chair.

"Where were you hurt?"

"My stomach has a large hole in it."

Perfect. "Lay down on the bed please." I said trying to sound as professional as possible.

I lifted his shirt up to see a hole in his stomach. It looked to be from a wide bladed weapon, but it didn't look to deep. I began to strap his arms down and then his legs.

"What is this for?" I didn't answer him until all for straps were done up tight.

"Why did you kiss me?"

"What?"

"Why did you kiss me?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Itachi, tell me right now. I could leave you in this room at least for a few days. I can easily sedate you. I have the tools to do so. And I can just tell Leader-sun that you need to rest and not be disturbed for the next few days."

"You sound like you have done this before."

"That's probably because I have, to your brother. He wouldn't tell me something I wanted to know, so I waited till I could get him like this. But you see he was stubborn and got left in a room for a week by himself before he told me. So again, why did you kiss me?"

"Because you told me you weren't sure if you liked me or not. It has really made you think, hasn't it?"

"What if I did like you, well more than Deidara?"

"Well then you would have to tell me so that I could tell if I like you or not."

"Do you want to be left here for a week? Do you like me or not? That's all I'm asking."

"Kiss me."

"We're not doing this again. Why can't you just tell me?"

"Get me off of this bed and then I will tell you."

I got so annoyed with him that I just did as he asked. As soon as I got him off of the table he stood up and pushed me against the wall with a powerful kiss.

"That doesn't answer my question." I said to him.

"Yes I like you Sakura. Now heal me."

I did as he asked and healed him. We both walked out into the kitchen to eat dinner. Once dinner was finished, I asked Leader-sun if I could talk to him in his office.

"What is it Sakura?"

"I was wondering who my partner is going to be, and when I can start going on missions."

"Are you sure you're ready? After what happened today, I'm not sure if you're ready."

"Today was a bit hectic and I understand that. But I had to make a huge decision and now that I have made it I'm sure I will be more focused. If need be I could go on a small mission to prove to you that I am ready. And I don't need to go on many missions, as I am a medic-nin."

"Well let's see; Deidara and Tobi; Kisame and Itachi; Hidan and Kakuzu; Zetsu and Sasori; Konan and I; who do you want to be paired with? I could pair you with Deidara; I don't think Tobi would care too much if he only got half his missions."

"I don't really want to be paired with Deidara, because we're together. I could go on missions with everyone. Like, one with Hidan this week and one with Zetsu later."

"Would you mind working with Tobi?"

"No,"

"Okay, I have a small mission for both you and Tobi to complete." He handed me a scroll. "You both must go to the land of rain and see what information you can find on Sasuke. Itachi will go with you, only because he has asked to go on all missions that regard him. You will leave within the hour. Go and tell the others and pack."

I said thank you before leaving his office. I walked down the hall and knocked on Tobi's door and told him about the mission. He was very excited and asked me to help him pack. Luckily I had to go and tell Itachi, so I told Tobi that I couldn't but I would meet him outside in half an hour. I then walked down to Itachi's room and told him about the mission before I went to Deidara's room and told him that I had a mission and should be back in a few days.

Once my bag was packed with clothes and some medical supplies, I walked outside to find Itachi already there waiting. Once Tobi came outside we decided to leave to head towards the land of rain.


End file.
